Drastic Measures

It's okay to Laugh out Loud

Moderator: SMLCHNG

Post Reply
BuPHett
Chewin' on a Honeysuckle Vine
Posts: 6727
Joined: February 28, 2002 7:00 pm
Number of Concerts: 0
Location: Waiting...

Drastic Measures

Post by BuPHett »

The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches.


The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a rare


condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to consider the alternatives, but somehow decided he had no choice but to go under

the knife.


When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.

As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need - a new suit." He entered and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."

The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see . . .size 44 long."

Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!"

Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see . . . 34 sleeve, 16 and a half

neck." Joe was surprised. "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!" Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly.

As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new
shoes?" Joe was on a roll and said, "Why not?"

The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see... 9-1/2 E."

Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years!" Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"

Joe thought for a second and said, " Yeah." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see. . . size 36."

Joe laughed, "Aha! I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. 34 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.. :o :o
Dally
Little Angel
Posts: 24424
Joined: September 25, 2001 8:00 pm
Favorite Buffett Song: Tin Cup Chalice
Number of Concerts: 10
Favorite Boat Drink: Vodka and Cranberry
Location: The land of Peaches!!!

Post by Dally »

LOL....that would totally s***!!!!
"All you need is love..." - The Beatles
sailingagain
Touch of Island Fever
Posts: 14883
Joined: October 8, 2001 8:00 pm
Favorite Buffett Song: Banana Republic
Number of Concerts: 25
Favorite Boat Drink: Any random tequila shot
Location: Mile Marker 0

Post by sailingagain »

:o

OUCH!!!!
Image
"In the morning when you rise, aren't you glad to be alive?"
phjrsaunt
Social Buffettfly
Social Buffettfly
Posts: 33919
Joined: October 19, 2001 8:00 pm
Favorite Buffett Song: Defying Gravity
Number of Concerts: 21
Favorite Boat Drink: coconut rum and...anything!
Location: Lovin' the NOW!

Post by phjrsaunt »

YIKES! That hurt and I'm not even a guy! :o
Image

My love is staying an anchor tied to you with that silver chain.
Image
Post Reply