Questions that have remained unanswered...
1. If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to
the core of the earth?
2. Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
3. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your ass?
4. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is
stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic?'
5. Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you get undressed?
6. If you mated a bulldog and a shitsu, would it be called a dogsu or a
*****?
7. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
8. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
9. Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for
centuries' have a 'use by' date?
10. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp no one would eat?
11. Is French kissing in France just called kissing?
12. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?'
13. What do people in China call their good plates?
14. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a
coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
15. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but
don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
16. Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
both dogs!
17. What do you call male ballerinas?
18. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why
didn't he just buy dinner?
19. Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?
20. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
21. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
22. If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear
him, is he still wrong?
23. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion
stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is
wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
24. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
25. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's above the hemisphere, but
call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?
26. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad
at you but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?
Questions that have remained unanswered...
Moderator: SMLCHNG
-
Ceol na Mara
- Chewin' on a Honeysuckle Vine
- Posts: 6264
- Joined: January 21, 2003 6:25 pm
- Favorite Buffett Song: "Jimmy Dreams"
- Number of Concerts: 7
- Favorite Boat Drink: Frzn Strwbrry Daq w/real strwbrr & real cream
- Location: North Jersey
Questions that have remained unanswered...
More wagging, less barking.
"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life." - Steve Jobs
"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life." - Steve Jobs
-
East Texas Parrothead
- Diamond as Big as The Ritz
- Posts: 29031
- Joined: April 4, 2002 7:00 pm
- Favorite Buffett Song: Tonight I Just Need My Guitar *and* Southern Cross
- Number of Concerts: 40
- Favorite Boat Drink: Mojito
- Location: In the newsroom
- Contact:
I love 'em....especially the one about the broker and the last one about the wind in the dog's face!
Thanks for making me smile on this rainy Tuesday at the mines.
Thanks for making me smile on this rainy Tuesday at the mines.
Gentilly ... 42 years is a long time to wait .... a Northeast Texas woman can hope.
My love is an anchor tied to you, tied with a silver chain.
My love is an anchor tied to you, tied with a silver chain.
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ZeroDuval
- <font color=blue>The Tiki Bar Is Open!!!</font>
- Posts: 48496
- Joined: January 30, 2002 7:00 pm
- Number of Concerts: 0
- Location: Margawrigleyville
- Contact:
-
East Texas Parrothead
- Diamond as Big as The Ritz
- Posts: 29031
- Joined: April 4, 2002 7:00 pm
- Favorite Buffett Song: Tonight I Just Need My Guitar *and* Southern Cross
- Number of Concerts: 40
- Favorite Boat Drink: Mojito
- Location: In the newsroom
- Contact:
-
Tiki Bar
- Thank God the Tiki Torch Still Shines
- Posts: 19046
- Joined: August 30, 2002 12:13 pm
- Favorite Buffett Song: One Particular Harbour / Tin Cup Chalice medley!
- Number of Concerts: 30
- Favorite Boat Drink: Friends don't let friends drink tequila! Beer me!
- Location: location location
-
PHAW Webmistress
- Parrothead Pimpette
- Posts: 54795
- Joined: June 16, 2001 8:00 pm
- Number of Concerts: 0
- Location: Someplace Warm :-)
- Contact:
-
daddymention
- License to Chill
- Posts: 1387
- Joined: April 24, 2002 8:00 pm
- Favorite Buffett Song: Tryin' to Reason With Hurricane Season & Cowboy in the Jungle
- Number of Concerts: 31
- Favorite Boat Drink: Pizza Port Carlsbad- Poor Man's IPA & Zombies
- Location: San Diego, CA
