Disclaimer - This is an Italian joke. I in no way am trying to degrade Italians. I am Polish after all.
There's this Italian couple who are getting married, and it's customary with the family that at the reception, which is held at the bride's family's house, the bride and groom go upstairs to. . .you know.
So the reception is going on fine when it's finally time for the bride and groom to go upstairs. When they get up there, they begin undressing. As the groom is taking off his shirt, the bride notices that he is extremely hairy. She freaks out and runs downstairs to her mother saying, "Oh momma, I can't do it. He took his shirt off and he is a hairy mess." The mother calmly responds with, "It's okay child. He is a good man, he'll be a good husband. You go back up there and treat him right."
So the bride goes back up and they continue. But, when the groom takes his pants off, his legs are hairier than his upper body. Again the bride freaks out and runs downstairs to her mother. "Oh momma, momma. I can't do this. His legs are hairier than the rest of his body." And again the mother calmly replys, "It's okay child. He is a good man, he'll be a good husband. You go back up there and treat him right."
So the bride goes back upstairs and they continue. Now as the groom is taking off his socks, the bride is still unsure about the whole thing of this guy on top of her. But then he takes his second sock off and the bride notices that his foot is cut in half. At this, the bride screams and runs downstairs to her mother. "Oh, momma, momma. No, no, no. I can't do this. He has a foot and a half." To this the mother hurriedly rushes past the bride, going upstairs, saying, "Oh child, you stay here, I'll take care of him."
PHINS ^