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A real woman is a man's best friend.
She will never stand him up and never let him down.
She will reassure him when he feels insecure and
comfort him after a bad day.
She will inspire him to do things he never thought he
could do; to live without fear and forget regret.
She will enable him to express his deepest emotions
and give in to his most intimate desires.
She will make sure he always feels as though he's the
most handsome man in the room and will enable him
to be the most confident, sexy, seductive, invincible...
No, wait... I'm thinking of alcohol!

watch it there, Smarty.

hey.....I thought we were going down the road of honesty and sweetness.....guess not.....took a "funny" turn about a block from being truly open.

That's ok I guess.


I was gonna say, a real woman is the better half to any relationship. She'll make you think you're the king while she does the hardest thing in life......make me happy with myself.

I'm sure Don knows one when he sees a real one.

Kinda like love, tough to describe, but you know one when you see one.

phjrsaunt wrote:watch it there, Smarty.

Guess we are in the JOKE forum....i never pay attention to that until it's too late... ah well

I was surprised- I thought you were going to say Golden Retriever.

Wow. It's amazing how well this simple *change all* woman/alcohol works.

I am alcohol, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an' pretend
'Cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again

Oh yes, I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to
I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am alcohol

You can bend but never break me
'Cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
'Cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul

Oh, yes, I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to
I can face anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am alcohol

I am alcohol watch me grow
See me standing toe to toe
As I spread my lovin' arms across the land
But I'm still an embryo
With a long, long way to go
Until I make my brother understand

Oh, yes, I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to
I can face anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am alcohol

Oh, I am alcohol
I am invincible
I am strong

I am alcohol
I am invincible
I am strong
I am alcohol

a big "tee hee" to SP!

Here's a well written song telling the truth about alcohol

Artist/Band: Paisley Brad
Lyrics for Song: Alcohol

I can make anybody pretty
I can make you believe any lie
I can make you pick a fight
with somebody twice
your size. . .

Well I've been known to cause a few breakups
and I've been known to cause a few births
I can make you new friends
Or get you fired from work.

(Chorus)
And since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg, Bordeaux, France
Been makin the bars
With lots of big money
and helpin white people dance
I got you in trouble in high school
and college now that was a ball
you had some of the best times
you'll never remember with me
Alcohol, Alcohol

I got blamed at your wedding reception
for your best man's emberrasing speech
and also for those naked pictures of you at the beach
I've influenced kings and world leaders
I helped Hemingway write like he did
and I`ll bet you a drink or two that I can make you
put that lampshade on your head . .

And since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg, Bordeaux, France
Been makin a fool out of folks
just like you
and helpin white people dance
I am medicine and I am poison
I can help you up or make you fall
you had some of the best times
you'll never remember with me
Alcohol

And since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg, Bordeaux, France
Been makin the bars
With lots of big money
(crowd:) and helpin white people dance
I got you in trouble in high school
and college now that was a ball
you had some of the best times
you'll never remember with me
Alcohol, Alcohol