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Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained,

"It's the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone."

Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and demand an apology.


Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him:

"Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off,
so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realize that I'd locked the house with both house and car keys inside and had to break a window to get my keys.

"Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire."

"When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, all the time the darn phone was ringing off the hook."

He continued, "Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels and the phone was still ringing.

When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the floor and broke."

"Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got
back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.

And believe me mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her."

On the subject of rectal thermometers:

When you are having an “I Hate My Job” day, try this. On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy, go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand.

When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains, and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Very carefully, place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Take out the literature and read it carefully. You will notice that there is a statement, in small print, which says “Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested”.

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, “I am *so* glad I do not work in the quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.”

-"BB"-

Bicycle Bill wrote:On the subject of rectal thermometers:

When you are having an “I Hate My Job” day, try this. On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy, go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand.

When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains, and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Very carefully, place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Take out the literature and read it carefully. You will notice that there is a statement, in small print, which says “Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested”.

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, “I am *so* glad I do not work in the quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.”

-"BB"-

pair8head wrote:Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained,

"It's the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone."

Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and demand an apology.


Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him:

"Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off,
so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realize that I'd locked the house with both house and car keys inside and had to break a window to get my keys.

"Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire."

"When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, all the time the darn phone was ringing off the hook."

He continued, "Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels and the phone was still ringing.

When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the floor and broke."

"Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got
back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.

And believe me mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her."

Bicycle Bill wrote:On the subject of rectal thermometers:

When you are having an “I Hate My Job” day, try this. On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy, go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand.

When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains, and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Very carefully, place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Take out the literature and read it carefully. You will notice that there is a statement, in small print, which says “Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested”.

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, “I am *so* glad I do not work in the quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.”

-"BB"-

But someone who is desperately out of work might read this and say to
themself, "I wonder if there's an opening?".